Standing with Alice

It’s rock climbing and abseiling
It’s free falling through the sky
It’s getting through the dark days
Without questioning why

It’s recapturing those lost years
When I was young and free
It’s revisiting the one I was
Before this monster came to me

It’s falling in love with someone
Without the fear of what they’ll say
If and when they hear my secret
If it will mean they’ll walk away

It’s not living with a shadow
A burning in your brain
It’s not living with self pity
And why I’m not the same

It’s not hearing nagging voices
About sleep and work and drink
It’s having the chance for independence
It’s having space to think

These are the things I envisage
The colours that I see
The goals I wish were close at hand
The ones I cannot see

But I am who I am
And though sometimes I’m not free
That’s just fine because
Without it I would not be me